ana/me

This voice is calling out to me again today,
She never seems to forsake me,
Yesturday, today, tomorrow,
She is allways there, Can't you see,
She isn't just a voice,
She is ana,
and ana is me.

This war grows with each breath,
Each passing hour,
She becomes stronger,
yet I become weak at the same time,
Is this truly a crime,
Must everyone who finds the truth that I am ana,
turn from me in discust.

She has my hand, and keeps me in the shaddows,
She helps wipe the tears from my eyes,
Even though my eyes never seem to dry,
any other would give up,
but not ana,
She just keeps saying,
'Controll, now or never my dear'

This voice is calling out to me again today,
She never seems to forsake me,
Yesturday, today, tomorrow,
She is allways there, Can't you see,
She isn't just a voice,
She is ana,
and ana is me

-By Pixieniko (N-Mae)


***************************************
"Never enough"

I feel the tears coming back,
This pain with in my weaping soul,
This voice that calls to me,
"its never enough"
I wish to be what I see as profection,

I feel the urge of cutting coming back,
This condition is my own convition to profection,
This calling that needs to be heard,
"its never enough"

I feel that this urge to workout is coming back,
This burning in my muscles never felt as good as it does today,
This pain is melting me away like acid,
"its never enough"

I feel a binge creaping back,
This cycle will just never end, 
why must my history be my future,
This is just the ana in me taking complete controll,
"Its never enough to let her go"
"I like this ana in me"

By: pixieniko(N-mae)
! has been copy writed!

I see girls all the time going, my ugw is...... and to tell you the truth, i dont have a main goal weight, No matter what I weigh i have to be at least three pnds lighter. I would be 30pnds if i could, but hm, doubt that wish would ever happen. So I'm dealing with 88pnds,

So I'm on a 40 day flush fast, and i can only have my vitamins, and water, tea. Today is day two, and my mom ended up taking my sister, my sisters boyfriend and I out to eat. I was so mad, but i dont like to lie so i went anyways, but before we went, i had three laxitive tea bags in a half glass of water, so it was pretty strong, and a metabo pill, lets just put it this way, i had to go to the rest room after one bite, which i'm glad for, that way its getting out of my body and fast. this is day two, and i'm not going to ruin my whole day.